


Rain (Down on Me)

by The_Defeaning_Sound_of_Silence



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coping with Death, M/M, Wakes & Funerals, richie is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 13:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14497905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Defeaning_Sound_of_Silence/pseuds/The_Defeaning_Sound_of_Silence
Summary: In the fall of 1987, Georgie Denbrough disappeared, leaving four broken losers to deal with the consequences. One of which is terrified to be lost as well, and one of which thinks he'll never even have a chance.





	Rain (Down on Me)

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @fyeahreddie's prompt thing. I'm also working on Wobbly so hopefully I can get a new chapter out soon.

  The change in atmosphere came quickly and unexpectedly. It was as though the aura of comfort surrounding their leader had vanished, just as his brother did.

 Richie had always been scared of being lost. Being replaced. The only thing on his mind as his mom fidgeted with his tie was, “I really hope Eddie doesn’t die too.”

 As much as he liked to pretend all the teasing and jokes were just for fun, they weren’t. He used them on Eddie the most because he was terrified that Eddie would drop him if he-- even for one second-- allowed himself to be vulnerable and express emotion beyond calmness. It took every ounce of strength to keep up the crude facade he defaulted to when he was too emotionally strained to think of anything else.

 The car ride to the chapel was virtually silent, other than the rain making a pitter-pat noise along his mother’s Volkswagen. His father said he wanted to go, show some support for Sharon and Zach, but ultimately work took precedence and he was spending the Saturday afternoon inside a stuffy office building. Richie almost thought that’d be nicer. Nicer than the sounds invading his mind, like the rain and the car’s brakes and the radio. Why did his mother have to turn the radio on?

 Eventually, after a suffocating ten minutes that felt like two hours, the Toziers arrived upon the lot, where several cars had already pulled in. Richie kept his eyes peeled for Sonia Kaspbrak’s jalopy Lincoln. His heart dropped when he didn’t see it, and he sunk down into his seat.

 One thing Richie did not account for was how emotionally taxing the funeral service would be. Nor how much it would make his ADHD flare up. In any other circumstance, he would either be pestering Stanley or Eddie. But Eddie wasn’t there and Stanley had his head down, silent tears dripping onto his lap. It seemed wrong to bug him, like the situation was too desolate.

 One by one, the Denbrough’s went up to give their eulogies. Richie couldn’t help but wonder where the boy’s body actually was. The investigators said they’d never found a body. But there had to be one somewhere. Someone had to have kidnapped or killed him. Living people don’t just vanish.

 When Bill got up to speak, Richie couldn’t help but pity him. He was sobbing and stuttering so hard he could barely get through five words.

 “G- G- Ge- Georgie, I- I l- loved him- m- m so m- m- m- much… I can’t-” Zach Denbrough led his son off the podium, guiding him back down to their pew.

 Finally it was over, and everyone was going up to the hill off Jackson Street to bury the empty casket. Richie, being a close friend of Bill’s, had been invited to come up with them, and he had instinctively accepted. Eddie was still not there, though, and Richie began to wonder if he’d vanished too. His heart pounded in his chest, ached with the need to cry, but he didn’t. For once in his life, the Trashmouth was rendered silent.

 Through the heavy rains they walked, nobody caring about their clothes getting soaked. Richie’s hair stuck to the sides of his face like a helmet, and his glasses had fogged up, but he just kept on walking silently, praying that Eddie would be up on that hill, waiting for them.

 But the hill was vacant, just like Richie’s heart felt. It was an odd feeling, to have his heart feel empty and overflowing with raw emotion all at once. Odd and painful, he would even say. But he knew Bill had it much worse. He kicked a pebble on the sidewalk in front of them, closing his eyes somberly. They stopped, and began lowering the hollow coffin into the ground.

 Through heavy tears and heavy rains, it was over, and Richie’s mom had gone on to mutter about how the roads were definitely going to flood. He found that he couldn’t care less, and began to pester her about dropping him off at the Kaspbrak’s on her way home. It wasn’t out of her way, so she agreed, and he eagerly anticipated seeing Eddie.

 He hastily knocked on the door, forgetting for a moment that he was soaking wet and had just come back from a funeral. Surprisingly-- to him, at least-- Sonia was not the one to answer the door, and he was instead met with the face of his favorite tenant of the household, Eddie.

 He resisted the urge to immediately wrap him in a tight hug, because that wasn’t the kind of thing normal boys did. He gave a sad smile.

 “Hi, Eds,” Richie said, unaware of how broken his voice would sound when he spoke. He tried to rid his voice of the empty sound by clearing his throat, “Missed you at the funeral.”

 Eddie looked behind him cautiously, body halfway out the door. Once he was satisfied having checked whatever he did, the smaller of the two was leading him inside with a stealthy sort of tact. On his way past the sitting room, Richie caught a glimpse of Mrs. Kaspbrak, dead asleep in her chair. He followed Eddie all the way to his room, tracking water everywhere he went, still in his rained-on attire.

 “I’ve been on lockdown. Ever since Georgie… I- I’ve been thinking about him all day, Bill too. I shoulda been there for him,” He said, sitting down on his neatly-made bed once the door was closed.

 “You couldn’t have known,” Richie tried to console him. In that moment, he felt very grown up. But then again, missing people and murders weren’t exactly the kind of things most kids grew up talking about.

 “Still… gets me thinking. What if one of us goes missing? One of us Losers? Will they still hold a funeral, do you think? Or would we be forgotten along with everyone else?” Eddie wondered aloud, burying his face in his hands. Nobody in Derry could even name the first child to go missing, but they could surely say the last.

 “I could never forget about you, Eds. You’re my best friend. You and Stanny and Bill. Georgie was a nice kid and his funeral came too soon, but they still might find him. We don’t know,” Richie assured, standing around awkwardly because he didn’t want to get Eddie’s sheets wet with rainwater. Normally, he wouldn’t care, but he was being extra cautious because of the day.

 “That’s a nice thought, Rich, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I cried all day and when you leave I’ll probably cry some more. Hell, I don’t care if you make fun of me for it. I feel like shit and Georgie’s dead and I didn’t even get to go to his funeral.” As Eddie said it, Richie did see the faint outlines of tear tracks on his cheeks, and his eyes were red around the edges.

 “Well if you’re gonna cry, I’ll cry with you. You’re not the only one who’s sad, y’know? There’s always something bringing ya down in Derry. Wish we could pack our things and go live somewhere else for once,” Richie mumbled sadly, no comedic undertones or cause for a laugh. He was dead serious, he wanted to leave and take only the Losers with him.

 “I think that’s how it is everywhere. It’s bad in every place for lots of different reasons. No matter where you live, there’s reason to be sad and cry. I wanna leave too, but Ma would never allow it. So we just gotta keep moving forward and hope someday we can leave,” Eddie reasoned, igniting Richie with a newfound hope.

 “We will, Eds. Swear it.”

 -

 Years later, Richie couldn’t even think of who in his childhood he’d wanted to move with. He remembered being more than in love with them, so surely it was a girl, but he also remembered so many fuzzy faces and cloudy details.

 He remembered one rainy day, where someone with kind brown eyes and freckled cheeks had told him, “We just gotta keep moving forward.”

 The more he focused on the memory, the more smudged it got, and soon the brown eyes and sun-kissed skin were forgotten in favor of a cigarette. He’d been smoking much more in recent years, feeling like he’d missed a huge part of his childhood for almost turning forty. Why could he remember so much, yet so little? God, he needed to see a shrink. He was going crazy.

 But even more so was the thought of a faceless someone to which he’d at one time been hopelessly devoted to. Someone who made his strife and worries wash away like a sandcastle during high tide. The way a quarry swallows up seven children who used it to jump off. The way the sun dries up rainwater and creates rainbows.

 But that wasn’t reality, none of it was. Reality, for all intents and purposes, sucked.

 


End file.
